The murder game!

[Xyro]

The idea behind this game is pretty simple: You have to murder the person above you with the weapon or item they provide. (aka, at the end of your murder description, you provide an item bellow for the next person to murder you with)

 

murder has never been so simple!

 

So, for starters: A spoon

[zoop]

A spoon? Come on, now. I'm supposing that you'd expect whoever took you up on this to go for the eyes, and work their way inward from there? How utterly cliche. I refuse.

 

Instead, the neck. It would be interesting to see just how long it takes to break through an artery with a painfully blunt object like a spoon. It probably wouldn't be very quick.

 

As for my object... a bag containing two hundred live goldfish.

[Xyro]

A spoon? Come on, now. I'm supposing that you'd expect whoever took you up on this to go for the eyes, and work their way inward from there? How utterly cliche. I refuse.

 

Naaa, I just wanted to go for a rather basic item to get things started

 

As for my object... a bag containing two hundred live goldfish.

 

Ahhh, the good o'll 200 live goldfish bag.

 

I would safety place the bag over the person's head while they were sleeping, and let them die from both suffocation and the mighty slaps of 200 wriggling goldfish in their full righteous power!

 

Next item: A jar of marmite

Edited June 9, 2017 by Guest

[existentiallylostdumbell]

I would break your neck by hitting it as hard as you can while you are asleep with the jar of marmite, your muscles wouldn't contract since you would not be aware of the impending danger, the jar might break, but even my hand with enough force and weight could probably break it. Then I would spoon feed you the Marmite until you suffocate on it, now in a paralysed state, making sure to cover your nose as I did so. Or I would stomp down on the lid of the Marmite until flat, fold it over so one side is overhanging, then sharpen that lid knife on concrete and then the glass rim. After that, I would slit your throat. Finally, if I had poison and alot of time, I would befriend you then one day suggest I come over and bring a nice basket of food with me, I would spread the poisoned Marmite on bread, leave for the bathroom and come back to find you dead.

 

Ok next, kill me with a fiction novel

[Kohloo]

I'll use the smallest fiction novel to use each page to give you a fatal paper cut on serious arteries! For good measure, I'll beat you senseless with the spine of the book. And as the final touch, I shall soak the pages with poison and suffocate you with them.

 

The item for my murder? A paperclip.

[Xyro]

shall soak the pages with poison

if I had poison and alot of time,

 

what's it with you guys and poison?

 

Anyway, with a paperclip, I would use it to bind together a good selection of paperwork, then file in a document to get you arrested, then fight for 10 years to bring back the death penalty and make you go through it.

 

Who said paperclips are useless?

 

Next item: an egg (note: you cannot poison it this time)

Edited June 10, 2017 by Guest

[existentiallylostdumbell]

First I would get a job as a lab tech, then I would get a job for the CFIA running microbiological tests on food samples. I would buy myself a hen at a farm or pet store. I would acquire a sterile container, in it, I would put a culture of Salmonella. Then I would set up my basement so that I could use it as a makeshift lab, and acquire a few other materials, streak loop, bactocinerator, an L shaped spreader, a giant bottle of 100% ethanol some of which I would dilute to 70%, growth media,, sterile gloves, lab coat, ventilation, a extremely heavy door, and an incubator. First I would culture the salmonella on growth media, then I would mix in common antibiotics used to treat salmonella in other growth media at extremely low concentrations. I would have two lines of salmonella growing, one on normal plates, one on antibiotic plates. If the Salmonella survived, I would transfer some of it to normal growth media and some of it to media containing increased concentrations of antibiotics. Once I had made it resistant to every antibiotic known to man, I would infect a hen prior to it laying an egg. Then, I would befriend you and shortly thereafter, serve you this drink containing egg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X7JyvL8U34. Only I wouldn't cook it, I would save some of it for later. I would mix that drink with a sedative as well, so you would be unconscious and unable to go to doctors, they wouldn't be able to help you anyhow. I would place the remainder of the egg on a needle and stab you in the intestine and in an artery. You would die of Salmonella poisoning shortly after waking up.

 

I didn't poison you, I infected you with a pathogenic bacteria which poisoned you, so ha

 

next styrofoam

Edited June 10, 2017 by Guest

[brycec]

I would take the styrofoam and break it down into a blade-like object, then carefully saw through your throat, until you start bleeding and have troubles breathing.

 

Next item: toy pirate that shoots out of barrel like a jack in the box.

[existentiallylostdumbell]

I would carve a knife mold into some wood, melt the toy pirate in a metal tray in the oven, pour the molten plastic into the mould, and then shank you prison style

OK next, trampoline

Edited June 10, 2017 by Guest

[brycec]

I would remove interior, and take out coils, then lengthen those coils into a edges, stick them up your nose and impale you in the medulla abolongata, stop your vital organs.

 

Next item: glass of 180-proof alcohol

[existentiallylostdumbell]

One glass , eh

 

Fill this glass with 180 proof and make you drink it

 

Next item, kill me with a starbucks barista

Edited June 14, 2017 by Guest

[brycec]

I would find out what that particular barista likes and spend time with them, while rewarding them with their favorite treat every time they do something right. After a while, I would lie to them and them that I would be able to get them want they really want if they follow me, and tell them know that we might become the first to achieve it.

 

After the barista is fully under my control, I would hand them a gun and send them to hunt you down and do whatever it takes to lower your guard.

 

Next item: newspaper

Edited June 14, 2017 by Guest

[existentiallylostdumbell]

I would make paper mache with it and airplane glue, the I would knock you unconscious, tie you to a chair, coat you with it and light you on fire.

 

Next item, a retarded T-rex with brain damage

[brycec]

I would find out what T-Rex like to eat, then lure it into your vicinity.

 

Afterwards, I would wait for you to come outside, trip the T-Rex, which ends up crushing you.

 

Next item: rogue wave

[XII360]

On 6/28/2017 at 1:10 PM, brycec said:

Next item: rogue wave

i would ask you out on a date no homo near the beach, and after having fun, i would put some sleeping meds in your ice cream, and place you near a rock where wave's are strong,

and most likely pray for the gods that a rogue wave arrives, before you wake up, mercilessly killing you, bringing you down the waves, to the eternal abyss, that of which is called, rock bottom (spongebob reference, lets goooo) but knowing my plans so far, i think ill fail

 

lets go for...cute dakimakura of a shipgirl (i have my reasons <.>)

[brycec]

I come over to your house, with the dakimakura you request, knock you out with sleeping pills, tie your arms and legs together, wrap dakimakura around your head, so no air gets in or out, and leave you there to meet your impending doom.

next item: toothbrush

[XII360]

a death that was clearly worth it ^

i take the toothpaste, and take some content of the toothpaste, after reducing the toothpaste's content, i add in some poisons (NaCl?, nah, sodium chlorides too cheap, lets go for mercuric oxide) inside the toothpaste and leave it back where its worth, place a camera in the bathroom where i can watch somewhere, waiting for you to brush the teeth, with the poisoned toothbrush,

after finding out that plan failed, since you will probably notice it,i sneak in at the night, take the toothbrush, sneak inside your room, tape up your hands and feet, and then, stab you in the eyes every 3 minutes, and after the 12th minute (twice on both eyes), ill add the poison in the brush, and then throw it in the eyeball that stabbed at, leaving it there for the following day

(jesus did i go specific and dark in this, tf,. i need medical help)

next item: Elmer's Glue

[brycec]

Knock you out, strap your arms and legs to a dentist’ s chair, take bottle of Elmer’s glue, squeeze it, watching the glue build up in your throat until you suffocate.

[Myouya]

On 9/15/2018 at 11:09 AM, XII360 said:

a death that was clearly worth it ^

i take the toothpaste, and take some content of the toothpaste, after reducing the toothpaste's content, i add in some poisons (NaCl?, nah, sodium chlorides too cheap, lets go for mercuric oxide) inside the toothpaste and leave it back where its worth, place a camera in the bathroom where i can watch somewhere, waiting for you to brush the teeth, with the poisoned toothbrush,

after finding out that plan failed, since you will probably notice it,i sneak in at the night, take the toothbrush, sneak inside your room, tape up your hands and feet, and then, stab you in the eyes every 3 minutes, and after the 12th minute (twice on both eyes), ill add the poison in the brush, and then throw it in the eyeball that stabbed at, leaving it there for the following day

(jesus did i go specific and dark in this, tf,. i need medical help)

next item: Elmer's Glue

Eh... are you sure sodium chloride is a "poison"?

As an object, I'll say : an unlimited stock of ice cream.

[XII360]

Just now, Roxeg said:

Eh... are you sure sodium chloride is a "poison"?

As an object, I'll say : an unlimited stock of ice cream.

now that i think about it...NaCl is kinda table salt, huh

remember kids, dont do school, it messes your thinking process up so much that you think sodium chloride is poison >__>

[Myouya]

2 minutes ago, XII360 said:

now that i think about it...NaCl is kinda table salt, huh

remember kids, dont do school, it messes your thinking process up so much that you think sodium chloride is poison >__>

Indeed, NaCl is literally salt. Hehe.

[AniMeFReaK]

On 10/1/2018 at 4:02 PM, Roxeg said:

As an object, I'll say : an unlimited stock of ice cream.

I'll shove the ice-cream down your throat until you suffocate and die. Mission accomplished.

(@Roxeg I'll shove ice-cream down your throat so fast that you won't have time to swallow, um... it does seem slightly weird to me now. Um... the ice-cream... oh, wait, I think I got something. Oh, yeah, a heart attack! Eating too much ice-cream gives you a heart attack. No, seriously, I'm not joking.)

As for my weapon, I'll provide you with an imaginary piece of paper.

Edited October 9, 2018 by AniMeFReaK

[Xyro]

On 10/8/2018 at 4:52 PM, AniMeFReaK said:

As for my weapon, I'll provide you with an imaginary piece of paper.

Honing the art of imaginary origami, I would carefully and meticulously fold a tiny crane. using years of study, training and hard work, I would become a sensei to the little crane, helping it to master the way of the fold itself. then, when it finally masters the craft, it would hone the paper into a tiny blade, and find its life-long target...

....Little crane always gets his target....

Anyway, next weapon would be a pair of small, but strong magnets!