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XII360

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Everything posted by XII360

  1. i have mood swings, where after speaking to someone that passed (i.e my senior) i get anxiety and study harder but after a while (recently) havent talked to anyone, and now im loosing that fear (especially since now, im just recalling the things i studied <_>) im scared, but id say, 40% scared, 60% "meh" which i bet will heighten to "100% scared and sh*tted myself" before-exam-day xDD yea, to be honest, that's what im thinking of at the moment, whatever happens, happens, i did my studying part, now its all about "applying" the studied stuff, and getting not out-of-this-world-questions-that-make my mind go blank, jesus christ, i used to suck at bacteriology, now im so-so in it (and confident i can answer more questions, than the average joe, AVERAGE JOE >.>, but i can still sometimes go blank when reading them >__< initially, random fact, in my experience, from 1st to 4th year college, i never cared as much as i currently do in exams, i always "went with the flow", (which was my motto) and they always, either went fine, or "there's always next time" (90% of the time, my scores were always 30-50%) another motto, i use frequently, ""dont think of the future, it'll arrive in due time"", in a way, im somewhat applying it at the moment, with maybe, a little brutal emotional swings from time-time and hard-core studyings
  2. waddap iz your boyyo, ryu-sama but yea, i was taking a bath and stuff, and the main reason for bathing aside for hygiene reasons was to somewhat get some "motivation" back (as we all know, im semi MIA due to studying everyday x_x) and while bathing, i had a wierd thought, aint it everyday tho' ? what's worse, being afraid or not being afraid and not caring ? what i mean is, well, my board exams is coming up, and few weeks back, i was scared, so scared that it gave me motivation to study harder (that i even wasted money for redbull and went all night studies route, which i still do tbh, minus redbulls, couse it doesn't work as much as it used to anymore, and i dont wanna throw more money <_>) but at this moment, im somewhat in the "f*ck it, i studied hard, if i pass, then i pass, if i fail, then i fail, all i know is i worked hard" which is how i had that wierd idea of, which is worse, not giving a frick, or being afraid, but giving a frick ? TLDR; what's do you think is worse, being afraid of an upcoming event, or not caring for that important event but NOT being afraid of it ? for me, i think its worse that im not caring, its an important event, i need to care, i wasted 2 months, sh*tton of cash, and MY GACHA GAME TIME for this boards >_> what about you ?!, do you think its bad for a person to not care about an important event ? (i.e; upcoming exams, cosmania events, deadlines, etc) or do you think its more bad for a person to be scared of such things, or do you think balance is the key to solve such problems ?! lets have a discussion that i probably wont be regulating much couse of my board-study-stuff
  3. 09/1/19

    Just 20 (19) days left before my death sentence day

     

    Looking back ive improved allot, but i still cant get a 75 line of score

    Well, whats important is im doing my bestest, im an average at everything i do, just getting a 60 (and hoping a 50 is = 75% calculation) is how they compoote shiet

     

    Otherwisefekimsoded

     

    But ya, few days of studying and staying up till 3am to go

    Like, 2 weeks left? Couse i need my bioclock to return back to normal before 21 >_>

     

    Also, #meandtheboisonMTday

     

    I cosplayed on that day, and for some reason, got thrown to become a spokesperson

     

    It was a f*cked up day >__>

    (Im the one who has gloves on xD)

    Also if i pass this boards, im forcing my sempapi to pat my head >:o

    (Its messed up, but thinking ill get a headpat by best girl gives me motivation xD)

    20190830_111808.jpg

    1. Illusion of Terra

      Illusion of Terra

      same day as/close to storming area 51? Coincidence? I think not 😂 

      Seriously though, studying for such a huge test sucks, but at least you're almost done with it :) Maybe that helps 😂

    2. XII360

      XII360

      @Illusion of Terra i cant wait, after my boards, to open my phone, check the news, and see they managed to retrieve catgirls that are imprisoned on area 51

       

      #letsgetthoseninjasmoresupport 

       

      xD

  4. Lacks snickers >...> Or hersheys xD
  5. "max of two votes per person" i can only choose one >.>.... edit: WE HAD A TWITTER WEBSITE ?! nanidafaq
  6. might aswell throw a new word i made while studying NaMaSa neutral red - Mac agar - SSA agar Pa X T U - (pa c2, in our language, translates to, "lets c2", or "lets drink c2" Phenyl red - XDA XLD agar - TSI tube test - Urea test t-this is basically some bacteriology stuff i made to remember them x_x, i think its words, and not acronymied in a way ?!? i also made a mistake, and wrote XDA rather than XLD, tf's a XDA >.>...
  7. im done on college, recently (march-ish, forgot exact date xD) i did MT (medical technologist/scientist), "bachelor of science, medical technologist" though, its pretty useless, as i cant practice MT stuff (being phlebotomy/being inside the lab to run tests on body fluids) until i pass the board exam (which is held every march/september) and well, that's what im studying for now, just taking a short break couse i just finished hema one, gonna finish hema two today and then do a self-exam to see how well i can manage (aiming for 75 questions/100 correct atleast, or anywhere near 75)
  8. #update

    Idk what to say

    A picture can say more shiz than words xD1565549456583553651746.jpg

     

    Its 3am though..sooo oyasumi xD

    Tomorrow i finish this, do a self exam, and then backtrack a bit on bacteriology (couse god damn js bacte hard ...)

     

     

    (Also sticky note stuff is just a joke, dont take sticky note seriously <_>)

     

    edit: though in a way...i guess help is somewhat accurate ?

    i do get depression bs when i study hard, and not interact with anyone

    i get filled with "despair" that im not good enough, and ill fail and shiz >.>

  9. obligatory song post~

    incidentally, gonna finish bacte (not including mycology and and the other viruses) tonight

    already drank 5 coffee's, and got a...

    what was it called..ah crap, um

    RED BULL

    got a red bull in fridge ready for when i grow tired, used up 80php, so it better wake me up, and shiz xD

     

    i doubt it will, but eh, placebo effect and shiz could happened xD

    its a pretty fap op tho' tbh

     

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Seshi

      Seshi

      Lol! You know it’s not really good to study with jitters. You concentrate better when you’re calm (supposedly)... wouldn’t you think that having the jitters would be distracting? It’s not like your brain will work faster. It’s not a smart pill 🤣 

    3. XII360

      XII360

      @Seshi i knowwwww

      but i wanted to "experience" the so called "jitters" >_<

      that and depression was catching up on me like a succubus after her lunch

      im wierd ;3

       

    4. Seshi

      Seshi

      Maybe you can’t get caffeine jitters 😮 XIIs super power. Caffeine immunity! 😜

  10. b-but i wanted to summon a berserker.. like kyutihime
  11. so, i was studying bacteriology, and memorized some of the test reactions

    after a while, (like an hour ago) talked a bit to my sempai

     

    and, told her im getting good at microbiology, and then she told me a question, going "--/++"

     

    my dumbass never saw anything like that, so i told her, to give me options, so she gave me 3 options, which i gave descriptions of each (e.coli and kleb, s. aureus aint tested)

     

    managed to answer it right, but she told me it doesnt mean just "MRVP (methyl red- voges proskeur? (idk spelling of VP)

    Screenshot_20190805-202521.jpg

    but anyway, she told me, those four dashes meant for INDOLE-MR-VP-CITRATE

     

    and i was like, MY MIND IS BLOWN

     

    i know of IMViC, but i never "understood" it, i sure as hell do now

     

    sempai is bae/waifu material for sure <3

    she sure as hell is helping me a huge lot >__> 

    {images of my notes made for each positive/negative reactions)

    20190805_202648.jpg

    20190805_202714.jpg

    1. Seshi

      Seshi

      Gotta admire that smart woman 

    2. XII360

      XII360

      @Seshi she's finished in board exam/licensure exam, and already working xD

      aside from being smart af, she's talented af in drawing, and easily sociable couse of how we can we can relate on things (e.g drawing, meme's, and youtube stuff >.>)

  12. im planning on watching fate series after my boards exam need to catch up on everything i've missed from studying (its been a real long time since i watched anime, started watching one episode during my breaktime from studies xD) though, chances are, ill read the VN rather than watch the movie, (im a novel fanatic xD) as for fgo... im still logging on it everyday, (waiting for memelin to pop up, and for hikikomori princess to come, im rolling for both of them, i saved up 600SQ and 120tickets just for a proper support (memelin) and waifu-hime <3) (just logging in though...sometimes play, but major of the time, i cant even play them, and just login x_x)
  13. Rare puto of me preparing to sell myself after failing licensure exam

    15645753026371517318730.jpg

    (Was to lazy to put on twintail wig >_<)

     

    (Also, im just joking about selling myself <_>, but i may do something messed up in near future after board exam xD)

     

    (Already got my sempai involved in it, so i fear im in it too deep to get outs)

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. XII360

      XII360

      @Illusion of Terra i actually already have knowledge on how to check if i have STD or not >__< (its just dropping a serum in a test kit after all xD, anyone can do it ;o)

      and yea, not to mention, board exam is like, 6-7 topics (Immuno-sero, blood banking, hematology, clinical chemistry, Analysis of urine and bodily fluids, histopathology, Medtech laws, microbiology and parasitology), being two days (3 subjects each, i think first day is IMSBB, microbiology/parasitolgy and CC, 

      day two is hematology, AUBF, and histopath/mtlaws)

       

      and man, do i suck at hema/bacte so far, the rest are ok-ok, not hard, but not easy either, i can manage by choice-removal, hema/bacteriology though...ahh i even bought a book to better understand them, i thought i was a pro at hematology, i did not think i would suck at it jesus christ

       

      and im doing fine on CC, which is the subject i thought i sucked, wtf >_>

       

      @Beocat ill take that to heart, especially since i heard, the choices in board exams are very hard, and will make examinee confused x_x

       

      @Seshi i know what you mean, im actually a proscratinator, that's why i didnt get any awards during my school days (couse i didn't bother doing anything, and i played more than study xD, if i studied for real, i bet you i would get awards and be smarter and shiz >.>, but i dont regret it, having fun in kiddy-days is the best~)

       

      sure hope i pass, if i pass and get that license, im gonna do something really wild, like, life-changing-wild >.>

      (which mainly includes my dreams when i was a child xD, thus one step closer to my dream)

      ill probably do something wierd for AF too xDD (after consulting with other guys that is xD)

       

      but for now, i must fighto~! lets go go go~! i got 50 days or so, ryu, IKIMAS~!!

    3. Wedgy

      Wedgy

      You're an immensely hard working and diligent student @XII360 and even I have witnessed you are clearly very passionate about what you're doing. Keep up that attitude, bring your fullest arsenal to those exams, and give it everything you have. It won't stand a chance. Don't forget to celebrate and reward yourself, too. 😊

    4. XII360

      XII360

      @Wedgy, sure hope so, the reason i study very early is couse im not confident in my memory (its not bad...just, not the best when absorbing notes-knowledge, especially if i cant find a logic in the sentence x_x)

       

      Already have a reward planned out if i pass the licensure exam xD

      But i wont spoil it, its gonna be only when and after i pass the exam -- which is september !

      Grabbing that RMT in my name 😆

  14. anyone else heard about what happened to kyo-ni ? (kyoto animations)

    its all over facebook, (or atleast my sempai is posting it, thus i heard about it)

    and it makes me really mad that a man killed so many people, ruined so many great artist's lives, and did a lowblow on the anime industry, just for a "they stole my artwork idea" (which was claimed to be false?)

     

    like dude, seriously, the fuck did you smoke to go up to a building and kill fucking innocent people ?

    usually id say, give me some of that sh*t, but, hell no, i say no to drugs, especially if its that bad

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. XII360

      XII360

      @Seshi already went and wrote them a letter (2 days ago-ish)

      as for money...i did want to support and send, but

      well, my bank account is telling me no (its literally 100php'ish atm <_>)

      (which is roughly around 2$ or 3$, and my allowance has yet to come ;s)

    3. Seshi

      Seshi

      Same.. I feel you on the money end lol

    4. Seshi

      Seshi

      I'm sure everyone loved your letter <3

       

  15. Dont worry guys

    Punks not dead

    I mean im not dead yet <_>

     

    Just really focusing on board exams more, couse itll change my life drastically if i pass

    If i fail...well shet, my life wont change, i need to pass to make my life move on >_>

     

    So ya, without spoiling shiz, have a picture of what im studying <_>

     

    (Yes, i study while in bed, bite me >_>)

    1563889009034705970350.jpg

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Illusion of Terra

      Illusion of Terra

      just looking at it gives me flashbacks. biggest hurdle is the amount of it, but if you portion it over enough time it is manageable. pass that test! 😂

    3. Wedgy

      Wedgy

      I envy your ability to take on such a mentally taxing task in the comfort of your bed. I lie in bed and my brain shuts down and wants to just sleep.

    4. XII360

      XII360

      @Wedgy, idk how, but i can study better laid down in bed, rather than sitting in my chair

      being in relaxed state is what gets me going

      though...it will also depend on my light source, if lighting is bad/my shadow is really bad (e.g its getting in my notes), studying in bed is hard ;s

  16. badges would be fun (especially if we can input a custom-badge of sort) (couse, im gonna draw my sylvie-high badge if it ever happens <_>) i also like the idea other user's get color in their name, and im not totally against it, though it isn't my call to say so
  17. hair, long hair for some reason, if she has long hair, she's gonna be one of the best girls for me >.> oh noes, one of my fetishes has been exposed, curses im wierd ;>
  18. ...junk foods like, no lie, that's what i eat >.>, and im still somewhat fit-ish, (probably couse i have so much stamina to go jogging, cycling to far places (e.g review center) and such <.> though, sometimes i don't eat anything at all, just to save cash, yet, i don't think another second when someone wants to eat, i buy them snacks (atleast, if im close with them) there's something wrong with me ~.~
  19.  

    kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, sempai drew my OC character (mia) the yandere one xDDD

    aka her,

    1121523639_mianormal.png.aaf4d5d26d3c436ab9a9f11129bd58c2.png

     

    felt it best to post her artwork <3

    (generally she's my senpai in internship days, and she helped me allot and teached me the ropes, i also respect her couse she's a great artist >.>)

     

    also, just so everyone know's, she's...generally one of those people like me, who are hella wierd >.>

     

    like, not your typical everyday person ?, she's fun to be around with tho', and shes a huge anime fan xD

    also yaoi fan/bl fan, holyshet

     

    still, respect for sempaiii, i am honored she drew my favorite daughterfu <3

     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. XII360

      XII360

      shes a....unique one, that's for sure,

      high respect though', that's why i call her sempai xD

      idk why she calls me papi though, im even gonna trust dignity to her xD

      which i wont spoil now, wait 2 more months, couse im gonna post it, one things for sure, it'll ruin everyone's image of me xD

    3. Seshi

      Seshi

      What img? the lady chaser? XD

      But WOW yea she did a really good job on your OC

    4. XII360

      XII360

      @Seshi i-it could ruin that image of me, heck, itll ruin everything about it >__>

      im surprised she even agreed (not really, i expected her to agree, knowing how she likes those stuff, and has experience >_<, truely a sempai i can rely onto)

       

      ikr, she's amazing, a great artist, fun to be around with, and easy to talk to, even though we only knew each other for like, 4-5 days on internship xD

       

      strangely enough, i dont think ill grow any feelings for her, even though she's hawt, probably couse of how different she is to majority of girls out there >.>

      she will always be mai sempai <3

  20. today ?, went to hospital to check on something my junior left, and came back home within 30minutes, just couse i needed to study >.> tomorrow ill probably not do any exercise though, what i will do is probably jog time to time edit: im probably gonna jog today before i sleep after im done with my reviewers...which is one page left holy sh*t >__>
  21. 12312312312313sda.thumb.png.632a2bcbddab65f7f4dc04ace6d9826f.pngaccurate meme i made of me, and what everyone around me probably things im doing majority of my time >.>

     

    obligatory song post~

     

  22. XII360

    Selfie Thread

    Felt cute, might delete later xoxox but no for reals, heres a selfie of me on review center tfw you havent pc'ed in a while that you forgot how spoiler tags worked >.>
  23. 231231231231231213.thumb.jpg.60cfc0f68dbcdf1f376c8979b6e3ec09.jpgjust gonna leave this here

     

    now idk wtf to do ...

    "sigh"

    1. XII360

      XII360

      #yandereislove

       

      though i guess ill just sleep this depression off, soo

      naito~, tomorrow i gotta get back to normal and study hard

      if i can ugh, sozzz

      image.png

  24. boom

    rejected

    gonna go draw couse im a numb person who didn't feel the rejection at all

    i expected it a mile away, but, meh, drawing and song is my anti-depressant (even tho' im not rly depressed)

    or i could be just telling myself im not depressed, to not feel it ?! who can knowww xD

    1. Seshi

      Seshi

      Sorry you were rejected- that hurts. *hugs* you’ll find someone that’s meant for you, just keep on pursuing your interests and acknowledging that you have those feelings when they come up. No regrets right?

    2. Wedgy

      Wedgy

      Ah pal just get some sleep and take care of yourself. It happens to the best of us, so there's no reason to let it beat you up. Instead be proud of yourself for taking that leap and use it to keep looking forward.

    3. XII360

      XII360

      @Seshisome regrets being its gonna be wierd to be around her -- or help them,

      + partners know i like ger so they may tease her

      If that happens idk what to say soz

      @Wedgy mhm, slept after drawing, didnt feel all that better but i did get past it

      On the wierd side...i get to keep my money, couse i dont have to go on dates or buy gifts and stuff

      So bright side of it all is...i can be rich ?

      And being rich means i can buy myself things i dont need or want, thus leading to happiness

       

      Im even thinking of thinking to cross dressing after losing more weight, just couse (im currently 70kg, so if i lose 20 more, and have someone experienced make me up, it should maybe work ?)

       

      Its messed up, but god damn is it funny enough to make me forget about love <_>

      pretty gay tho' rofl

       

      Give take, she friend/brother zoned me, but that doesnt mean i cant out of that zone, gonna be hard but if i act flirtous, theres always that one tiny chance she will say yes >_>

      So all hope aint lost tbh

      Unless she likes someone else and gets a boyfriend, i dont wanna mess with a girl who has a boyfriend

       

  25. WARNING; sh*tton of words ahead, and maybe possible bad english? couse i mean, i just wrote stuff based on what happened, i dont wanna proof read this either >.>

    just check TLDR if you dont wanna read it all xD

     

    so i couldn't confess to her with words, mainly couse it was a night duty, and she was window, and i was somehow invited to help ER couse they lack man power there, (but so did INPX), so i told the leader "sure, until other guys arrive ill help out here"

    so around first 4 hours of duty, i ended up being in ER, being slightly toxic, after that, the "late ins" interns arrived, only problem was, thats when the real toxic arrived, (e.g patient after patient)

    and then doctors kept following up something, the staff got a bit mad at the intern's, so i semi sped myself up on duty, she got mad couse all the interns in ER was mass warding, while she was left alone in the ER lab 

    when i heard that, i stayed in ER longer and decided to do most of the things fastly (e.g update PC log sheet, charged new patient tests, etc)

    basically i toke window role, which is my most hated role in internship...

    but i had the fastest writing speed, so i could update it 10x faster than anyone (only problem being, its so hard to f*cking read their hand writings >.>)

     

    so fast forward to 3am, toxicity finally subsided, and i was able to ditch to go to where i really wanted to -- INPX where waifu at <3

     

    only to be slapped by morning pick stuff, and so many people in there that i cant get a moment of her time (+/- she was toxic, so i didn't wanna disturb her for my stooped reasons)

     

    in the end, i went morning pick with a junior who wasn't confident in extraction, was slow af and stuff, and

    basically, everything about me when i was just starting out >.>

    though i told her ill do the rest, after teaching her proper collection on ARD bottles (couse ill collect morning pick faster if im going at it alone)

    give take i needed to hurry too, couse it was 5am, and i had like 6 extractions, and 12? HGT/CBG (glucose test)

    ended up finishing them all by 6:30am, and gave her the samples to less toxify her

     

    after which it was benign-ish for me, like regular, checking trashbins for sharps and pranking new interns that im a "staff" or "a girl" (couse i brought a wig that day, to fool INPX window, and act like a patient -- she saw right through me though, and told me that "the exit is that way" 

    i was like

    the f*ck ?! how did you know ?

    "gut feeling" - qt junior 2019

     

    so yea, in the end, i couldn't confess to her by words; butttttt

    i ordered everyone gifts, hers having a special extra one, and i wrote everyone letters (including hers)

    outside, i wrote "dont open it with people around"

    inside, i wrote i liked her, and the other was me going asdjfhsdfhsajfh couse i was cringing >.>

     

    so yea, other's saw, and was like "yieeeeeee" and others were "how does she get two ?" (couse i only gave one to everyone)

    and i was just like "yknow "winkwink""

    she incidentally smiled which made my day even though i was 24hours + awake now (couse i went from review center, then home, then straight to night duty >.>)

     

    so yea, TLDR;

    1.) confessed to qt by letter/gift, but she has yet to log in since, so idk her answer yet, im expecting to get rejected though if its taken this long, (which could hint she's avoiding me? and probably doesn't wanna make me sad?)

     

    2.) couldn't get to study yesterday, due to over fatigue, lack of sleep, body ache from over working, etc

     

    3.) i ended up going all night duty, when my initial goal was to just give her gift, and ditch home by 10pm

     

    "thats about it; ryu is out, gun go kms after this incident ._."

    1. Seshi

      Seshi

      From what you said the interaction seemed to go well. Not embarrassing at all, because you played it off cool. And she laughed. So... that’s usually a flirty thing, and a good sign. 

      Anyway, if things don’t work out, you at least tried. You didn’t waste away your time wondering if she liked you, and never giving it a shot, because you did. Good for you 😊

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