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Greeneyes

If You Hate Someone

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So I am gonna ask, what do you do when you hate someone?

I've heard some people bottle it up, some people writes emails to themselves,

and others face the problem at the people in question..

I'm wondering what you do.

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I just keep it to myself and attempt to treat them neutrally, without letting my bias show. As long as they aren't stressing me out to the point that I can't stop thinking about them I never have any problems; in the extremely rare cases they do I'll confront them verbally, and once it gets to that point I'm probably going to say some things I'll regret later.

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It's difficult for me to hate someone, but if I really dislike someone, usually I just keep it to myself, or talk about it with my girlfriend before realizing how stupid I sound. I don't have enough time to focus on hating someone, so I often remind myself that the people I hate will have no impact on my life in the end. 

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1 hour ago, seemore_bhutts said:

It's difficult for me to hate someone, but if I really dislike someone, usually I just keep it to myself, or talk about it with my girlfriend before realizing how stupid I sound. I don't have enough time to focus on hating someone, so I often remind myself that the people I hate will have no impact on my life in the end. 

 

1 hour ago, Frith said:

I just keep it to myself and attempt to treat them neutrally, without letting my bias show. As long as they aren't stressing me out to the point that I can't stop thinking about them I never have any problems; in the extremely rare cases they do I'll confront them verbally, and once it gets to that point I'm probably going to say some things I'll regret later.

Let me add something than,

Lets say you are at your last straw like about to break something mad how would you deal with it?

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@Greeneyes I'm getting the impression that you're seeking advice to deal with a situation... if you're not comfortable discussing it openly here you are welcome to shoot me a PM if you need somebody to talk to. 

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1 minute ago, Wedgy said:

@Greeneyes I'm getting the impression that you're seeking advice to deal with a situation... if you're not comfortable discussing it openly here you are welcome to shoot me a PM if you need somebody to talk to. 

No I have dealt with this issue in the past, I would like to know how others do.

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if I need to go break something then I go break something ! but some thing that's ok to break !

if I need I go for a break or go for a drive , change of pace , people or anything to take my mind away from said person (or problem situation) before I do something I shouldn't , been there done that now know my limits and what I could be capable off when I am pushed too far

 

and ive never done anything illegal when I did explode and as for any type of anything taken ive had prescribed sleeping tablets onec to help me sleep at nite rather than let the mind keep dwelling on the situation

 

if anyone ever needs to talk I'm also open to listen and share as well

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47 minutes ago, Greeneyes said:

 

Let me add something than,

Lets say you are at your last straw like about to break something mad how would you deal with it?

At the last straw, it's tough. I used to fight, a lot, and sometimes I feel like fighting when I get angry, but I usually end up seeing the stupidity and uselessness in an unorganized fight.. I did it a few months ago. This kid on my baseball team pushed a freshman at school, so I told him to knock it off, but after throwing a few insults my way, he decided to fight me, so I invited him to my house to box, saying that he could bring friends to watch. At my house, we had a barbecue, and fought. I met some new people, and after kicking his ass, we became friends. Turns out that I actually hurt him pretty bad, though he did recover. Every time I think about the fact that I'm the reason he had dental issues I get angry. Was it worth it? No. 

Another time, I became pretty angry after a kid called a friend of mine a few rude names. Being an idiot, I accepted his invite to fight right there, but his friends surrounded and beat the living crap out of me. It left me with a few nasty scars and a little bit of lost dignity. Every time I think about it I get angry. Was it worth it? No. 

Other times, when my step father would hit my mother I would fight him and usually lose. One time, he hit me across the chain and back with a chain. Every time I see the scars he gave me I get angry. Is it worth it? No. I should've called the police and been done with it. 

My point is that no matter how angry you are, nothing good comes from fighting unless it's absolute necessary. Nothing good comes from lashing out at yourself or others. Nothing good comes from giving up, especially because it hurts those who care about you. 

A big part about being a strong person is about knowing when to express anger and when to realize that it's not worth expressing. 

(Me on the left, kid from first story on the right)

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On 4/22/2018 at 7:46 AM, seemore_bhutts said:

Another time, I became pretty angry after a kid called a friend of mine a few rude names. Being an idiot, I accepted his invite to fight right there, but his friends surrounded and beat the living crap out of me. It left me with a few nasty scars and a little bit of lost dignity. Every time I think about it I get angry. Was it worth it? No. 

Is there such a thing as asking others to fight you nowadays? Where I grew up, you threw punches when you felt the line was crossed. And you regret sticking up for a friend?

Quote

Other times, when my step father would hit my mother I would fight him and usually lose. One time, he hit me across the chain and back with a chain. Every time I see the scars he gave me I get angry. Is it worth it? No. I should've called the police and been done with it.

So how is it going with you and your step father today? Either way, now that you've become stronger, I'd return the favor.

Edited by Maniac
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Lol if I hated someone. The only time I have hated someone is when they think they can push me around only because I am not doing anything back only because it’s for their own safety. And i am actually a kind person most of the times.

I had so many fights in my life I have lost count. A friendly fight with my friend or someone else. The reason I fight was mainly because I just love the thrill of it. But the fight were not serious.

But there were couple times when i hated someone and the line was crossed like very quick because I am a impatient person. And it ended up being a fist fight until someone was going bleed to death and I wouldn’t stop punching him until my friends would pull me away. I always tell my friends not to get involved. That was the only way I deal with with person I hate. 

So I don’t really hate people but if I were to hate someone the hatred will Be too much and I will have to deal with them very quick. 

And have I lost a serious fight.  No. 

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I don't think I hate someone. I can say that i dislike them but hate seems like a strong word for some reason. It's like I'm seeing the word "Loathe" which is 10x worst than hate, and I just feel like it's giving that person way to much power. 

There are people I dislike and when I don't associate with those people. It's either beacues they did something I can't forgive or they have a problem with me in some way. Regardless, the world is going to keep spinning whether they're in my world or not.

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10 hours ago, Maniac said:

Is there such a thing as asking others to fight you nowadays? Where I grew up, you threw punches when you felt the line was crossed. And you regret sticking up for a friend?

So how is it going with you and your step father today? Either way, now that you've become stronger, I'd return the favor.

Yep, pretty common actually. I live in a pretty small valley, so everyone is stuck with each other, so holding grudges is just annoying. 

My step father is going to prison soon, the last time we were face-to-face I broke one of his orbitals, about 5 ribs, and caused him to nearly lost eyesight completely. 

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Depends....  if I'm related to them, I disown them and cut them from my life. Easy. The rest of my close family has realized the utility in this in the past 5 years and started to do the same. Good for them.

 

If it is someone at work, I will keep quiet and confide in friends. I used to be good at detaching...not so much these days. I find that my tolerance has waned over the years due to stress. Writing helps. And knowing one day I'll be dancing on their Graves helps too ;) I firmly believe in karma. I just have to wait and all their negativity and horridness will turn 180 degrees and hurt them 10 times worse. So far, I've been able to see it in action every time. It helps to keep that in mind too. Patience....their time will come.

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4 hours ago, seemore_bhutts said:

Yep, pretty common actually. I live in a pretty small valley, so everyone is stuck with each other, so holding grudges is just annoying. 

My step father is going to prison soon, the last time we were face-to-face I broke one of his orbitals, about 5 ribs, and caused him to nearly lost eyesight completely. 

Damn

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after re reading this thread a little more , maybe its more of a question of how does one handle their inner monster and stop it from raging out of control in such a situation then

Edited by Wodahs
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1 hour ago, Wodahs said:

after re reading this thread a little more , maybe its more of a question of how does one handle their inner monster and stop it from raging out of control in such a situation then

How else would one describe the constructs of society?

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I hate "someone" ( @I.Zara2006 get it?) a lot, and for that I just keep to myself, pretend she doesn't exist (but I have to pretend she does when she talks to me) and write about her in my diary... @Greeneyes-san how do you deal with the situation?

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Well I had some bullies..I mean they bullied me verbally, that is. But never once in the whole year did I looked in their direction or even replied when they were providing me their verbal attacks. They usually did it when I was working..I never looked up from my work, I used to continue with my work. I kept my face neutral. I kept my feelings neutral. Believe me it irritates them when you do that. Sometimes not responding is the best weapon. And at the other times..like when there were other people present, they wouldn't do anything to me. So I treated them as nicely as I could like asking them how they are doing or wishing them a good morning or throwing in a smile here and there. Since they knew and could see that it wasn't obviously coming out from my heart they were irritated. They knew I was doing that on purpose.They knew that I did that to make them understand that they were going nowhere with what they were doing and they did understand that so felt more irritated. And when they again did their verbal abuse, I would again ignore them blissfully and continue doing what I was doing. And at other times I would treat them normally like nothing happened or like I never even remembered what they did. One day when they finally came up to me and asked if I was afraid to reply back to them I was like " Was all that directed towards me ? Oh, I never acknowledged it since I was busy and never looked your way to see for whom all that was for. I was working you know."  After that they stopped. 

Since these 5 girls were the only ones that I really and truely hated in my life this was how I dealt with it. Many people would say that I should have fought back, I should have stood my ground. But this was my way of fighting, my way of standing up for myself. Since no one else helped me out there I wanted the girls to see that I wasn't about to change my ways because of them. Just because they were bullying me with words. They wanted me to retaliate and since I never gave them that, they were embarrassed because it was like talking to themselves..as they later told me. But it maybe different for different people and different situations. But for me it was this way.

Okay..just wanted to get that out.

(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡

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6 hours ago, Animesta_MidnightLove said:

They wanted me to retaliate and since I never gave them that, they were embarrassed because it was like talking to themselves..as they later told me. 

This sums it up perfectly! You can't control how other people will treat you, but you can control how you react and so many underestimate how much power that gives you. Will you give the bully what they want and retaliate, or will you deny them the satisfaction and essentially turn them into the losing party?

This is one of those things I was always told growing up but it never really got through to me until I was older and realised my mother was right all along. :crazy:

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6 hours ago, Animesta_MidnightLove said:

Well I had some bullies..I mean they bullied me verbally, that is. But never once in the whole year did I looked in their direction or even replied when they were providing me their verbal attacks. They usually did it when I was working..I never looked up from my work, I used to continue with my work. I kept my face neutral. I kept my feelings neutral. Believe me it irritates them when you do that. Sometimes not responding is the best weapon. And at the other times..like when there were other people present, they wouldn't do anything to me. So I treated them as nicely as I could like asking them how they are doing or wishing them a good morning or throwing in a smile here and there. Since they knew and could see that it wasn't obviously coming out from my heart they were irritated. They knew I was doing that on purpose.They knew that I did that to make them understand that they were going nowhere with what they were doing and they did understand that so felt more irritated. And when they again did their verbal abuse, I would again ignore them blissfully and continue doing what I was doing. And at other times I would treat them normally like nothing happened or like I never even remembered what they did. One day when they finally came up to me and asked if I was afraid to reply back to them I was like " Was all that directed towards me ? Oh, I never acknowledged it since I was busy and never looked your way to see for whom all that was for. I was working you know."  After that they stopped. 

Since these 5 girls were the only ones that I really and truely hated in my life this was how I dealt with it. Many people would say that I should have fought back, I should have stood my ground. But this was my way of fighting, my way of standing up for myself. Since no one else helped me out there I wanted the girls to see that I wasn't about to change my ways because of them. Just because they were bullying me with words. They wanted me to retaliate and since I never gave them that, they were embarrassed because it was like talking to themselves..as they later told me. But it maybe different for different people and different situations. But for me it was this way.

Okay..just wanted to get that out.

(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡

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Honestly? I don't particularly hate anyone. Maybe it's because I rarely talk to anyone or maybe it's because I deem the word hate as too strong of a word. Dislike? Yeah sure but hate? Nah, I don't have the time for that, lolol. 

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