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How are you feeling right now?


Kiriness

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I wasn't able to sleep at all last night, even with a sleep aid I used 2 separate times, so my mind is kind of running on overtime. Sometimes I stay up all night, but I get sleep around noon the next day. It's now almost 6pm here and I still can't seem to get to sleep. I can tell mom's worried because her voice started cracking like it does when someone is close to crying after I failed to get sleep in my 3rd attempt which was pretty much 10 or so minutes ago. She always acts like nothing's wrong though when I ask about things like that, so I just pretend not to notice. I'm kind of starting to wonder if she's going to take me somewhere to get sleep, like some kind of hospital visit or something if I can't sleep tonight either. Sometimes I wonder what mom and dad talk to each other about, but at the same time it's probably better that I don't know. At any rate, I'm feeling like I want to sleep, but after laying in bed for a good chunk of time on this latest attempt and not drifting off in any way, I think I might have to wait until later to try again. Or whenever I actually get tired enough. I'm exhausted enough to sleep, but my brain apparently says otherwise. For now anyway. Maybe I'll get tired enough soon, with any luck. I'm still kind of paranoid, but not as much as before because of the inability to reset my mind with sleep. Paranoia takes a lot out of people mentally, especially when it's on someone's mind most of the time they're awake. Anyway, sorry for the long post, but that's how I feel right now. Whether I want to or not.

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9 hours ago, froggy said:

I love staying up and lounging around because of the peacefulness.☺️ Although I have school, I'll stay up till 11pm reading comics anywayz... T_T I always regret it in the morning, but luckily I have yoga first period which brings my brain back online. 

Yeah on school nights, I still stay up until midnight usually lol ~ I don't have to get up until 7:50 though so I still get enough sleep. 

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14 hours ago, froggy said:

but luckily I have yoga first period which brings my brain back online. 

We didn't have stuff like yoga when I was at school. Once a week we did spend half an hour in the gym doing all sorts of dangerous things that today would be banned for health and safety reasons.

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12 hours ago, Sakura said:

Yeah on school nights, I still stay up until midnight usually lol ~ I don't have to get up until 7:50 though so I still get enough sleep. 

That's such a nice buffer. My school starts at 7:20am, so if I stay up I get 4-5 hours😭   

 

7 hours ago, Animedragon said:

We didn't have stuff like yoga when I was at school. Once a week we did spend half an hour in the gym doing all sorts of dangerous things that today would be banned for health and safety reasons.

That reminds me in elementary school we weren't even allowed to play dodgeball, and it got removed from my highschool curriculum because kids get hurt. I miss playing games in P.E, but yoga is very enjoyable and relaxing so I'm very grateful for it. 

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A little on edge. It got crazy at work earlier. Busiest Friday evening we've had since the holiday season. 😵‍💫 Thank god for bourbon. Cheers! 🥃

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I tried to be in a good mood for mom since it was Valentine's Day, but pretending to be happy when I'm not isn't something I do a very convincing job of anyway. Being depressed most of the time doesn't just go away when it's convenient... Anyway, I tried for mom, but I don't think I did a very good job today. Being paranoid about every little thing doesn't help anything either. >< So, I feel pretty bad for not being able to be good company for mom today.

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3 hours ago, Wild Emotion said:

I tried to be in a good mood for mom since it was Valentine's Day, but pretending to be happy when I'm not isn't something I do a very convincing job of anyway. Being depressed most of the time doesn't just go away when it's convenient... Anyway, I tried for mom, but I don't think I did a very good job today. Being paranoid about every little thing doesn't help anything either. >< So, I feel pretty bad for not being able to be good company for mom today.

Nobody makes a good job of pretending to be happy when their not. But I'm sure your mom appreciated your efforts.

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Have a headache during class. I just want it to be lunch so I can talk with my friend. Its so hard to focus in U.S history, not that I don't value it, but the way my teacher lectures puts me to sleep. (-, – )…zzzZZZ

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11 hours ago, Animedragon said:

Nobody makes a good job of pretending to be happy when their not. But I'm sure your mom appreciated your efforts.

Than you. ^^ I can only hope she did because I'm too afraid to ask. Over time I've just gotten afraid to ask her things. I'm really not sure why, she's always been a good mom to me and big sis'. There's not a lot of rationality with the way I am though. ^^; Unfortunately. So, I most likely won't ever know why I've become like that over time. It's pretty much with anyone in person though if either I'm in a bad or sad mood or I even remotely think that the person I want to ask a question to is feeling how I am, which is usually. None of the way I am today makes any sense. ><

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1 hour ago, Wild Emotion said:

I can only hope she did because I'm too afraid to ask. Over time I've just gotten afraid to ask her things.

One thing I learnt from my mother is that it's better not to ask about some things because mothers often see things from a different perspective and can get annoyed if other people don't see things from the same perspective.  You made an effort to please her on Valentine's Day and I'm sure she appreciated that.

 

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I'm still feeling really hyped up even though I need to go to sleep ~ I had too much fun today and I'm still coming down from it. 

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Extremely excited. I found an apartment and got all the prerequisites taken care of. Also got the keys earlier today! 😎

Of course.... not so excited about moving my stuff over there, but luckily there isn't any real time limit to move it.

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Kind of sad/worried. I just found out a couple of hours ago my step-dad had went in to the doctor this morning because he had been feeling bad, they did an MRI, found bruising on his brain, then discovered a blood clot. They've just put him in a hospital room and are doing some kind of emergency brain surgery first thing in the morning. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm feeling really exhausted and tired from getting so little sleep the past week. It might have been 2 weeks, I can't remember. I don't know why I'm not able to sleep lately as much as I used to. Because of that, my energy reserves are lower than they normally are, too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been super bored this weekend. I did some GFX'ing though and it kind of cured it for a couple of hours.

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Feeling tired and rushed.  Weekends are never long enough anyway, but here we do that daylight savings nonsense so I lost an hour of sleep last night.  Feels like a lot more.  I just finished my morning coffee and here it is already noon.  I want to relax and maybe do some gaming but I have adulting to take care of before the weekend is over and I have to go back to work.

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2 hours ago, efaardvark said:

but here we do that daylight savings nonsense

We do the clock changing thing here in the UK, and it's a regular subject for discussion. Moving the clocks forward doesn't usually cause much fuss because there's an extra hour of daylight in the evenings, the complaints really start when the clocks go back and it get darker earlier.

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On 3/13/2024 at 12:32 AM, Sakura said:

I feel kind of stupid for liking someone again and then barely a week into it find out they are already cheating on me lollll... Also pretty hurt and I think I'm just feeling like I am totally and completely done with relationships for good.

Don't be done with relationships. You'll find your someone one day, beautiful.

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